The womb... that is probably where I started listening to classical music. It is an element of my life I don't like to talk about though. It is something I deeply hide from others.

When I was a little girl, I liked to play soccer, sing, dance, read, and do complex mathematical equations in my head. I wanted to be a concert violinist, as violin was my favorite instrument (followed by piano, and then trumpet). There are many haunting memories in my past that have jarred me that I find I have cooped up in the unseen parts of my soul… I’m ready to let them go now.

Note: When I am alone, and only when I am alone, do I do these things (even now… don’t ask me why):

-          Study philosophy

-          Dance

-          Write poetry

-          Break-down algorithms

-          Do intensive field research

-          Compose music

…. And I almost always do them while worshiping to music.

A few things that my friends may not know about me:

-          I learned quite a bit of sign language while I was in first grade; that’s when I started learning Spanish as well

-          I was a Girl Scout for 12 years, during which time, I was a mime

-          I was bullied for an entire year of junior high school

-          My best friend, in elementary school, shot herself when we were in eighth grade. I had a dream about it in fourth grade, at which time my teacher told me that I was crazy.

-          When I was in fifth grade, I took my dog for a walk, he got loose, and someone shot him. I had to hold him while he was bleeding to death, until he could be put down. My parents put me in counseling for a year just to make sure I was ok after the experience.

-          I cannot remember ever not knowing God the same way that I know Him now. My earliest memories are of me praying and talking to God intimately. However, as I grew more maturely in Christ, I grew to understand better what it meant to lay down my life for Him as He laid down His life for me. I hope to understand that better tomorrow than I do today.

-          I have made enough mistakes in life to know that I do not want to make anymore. Dying to my flesh has meant putting childish things behind me, learning self-control.

-          I have experience heartache grandiose from those that I most loved; I know what it means to break over-and-over again in a hungering surrender unto Him.

-          I have intense dreams nightly…

-          I was kicked out of my house when I was 16. My grandmother was gracious enough to open her home to me.

-          I know what it’s like to feel abandoned, betrayed, on-the-edge, lonely, forsaken, and without a friend in the world… but I have never yet experienced utter hopelessness; I pray that I never do with Christ as my witness.

-          Without Christ in my life, I would constantly need to be rescued from the misery and torment of the world. With Him, things are not always easy, but there is always Light at the end of the tunnel… that is to say, that He always provides and shows me a way around, over, under, or through the situation.

Prayer Requests: Both of my grandmothers are enduring physical infirmities this week; prayers for a speedy recovery. I pray that my friends are able to reconcile pain between them. I pray that my friend from church is not ill next week. I pray that my other friend from church is able to get rest since her daughter is struggling with Children and Youth at the moment, and she needs to keep a vigil on her daughter’s children. I pray that a few of my friends who are struggling in their faith in this season are uplifted in His name. I pray for continued encouragement within the Body.

Thought for the Night: Nothing is bad enough that the sun should be able to set on one’s anger… Nothing.